For the young mom it’s the day daddy’s go back to work, mommy’s find themselves frequenting the coffee maker more than normal and kids can sense that something just ain’t right, giving them permission to be crazy-town.
For the older mom it’s the day you realize how old you are and you are running out the door before you even have a chance to wake up…frequenting the coffee shop instead of the coffee maker more than normal.
Today when my alarm went off, I found myself irritated before my feet even hit the floor.
It was still dark out. It was cold. I was immediately reminded that I had to drop off my sweet boy at school for the whole entire day, and I just wasn’t ready for it.
I mean, are you ever really ready for Monday? I don’t know.
I was thankful that I had been listening to Big Daddy Weave on repeat for the last couple days. Because by the time I had walked into the bathroom, I was already humming the tune of “Your Name”.
I always turn the music on right away when I get up and it stays on all day long. I can not believe what a difference it makes. Not just any music, but carefully planned out music. Music that will be speaking truth and encouragement into my life when I need it.
And today, I needed it a little more than normal.
I am going to be brutally honest.
It’s been a tough week.
And by tough, I mean on a variety of levels.
My health, our finances, and mainly? My attitude.
I have been struggling with prayer.
I said it.
I mean really struggling.
Sometimes I feel like I pray and pray and pray and nothing happens.
I start doubting.
I start questioning what the purpose is.
I mean, God is going to do what God is going to do, right?
And with that thought said out loud, I started reading my Bible anyways on Friday and half-heartedly prayed what I pray.
Asking for specific things for my husband, my boys, my family, and on and on.
And I do mean half-heartedly.
I started to pray and then stopped.
And then tried to start again and then stopped.
Then I was just done.
Later that day I was thinking about praying as I was in the car on the way to AJ’s game. I started to pray to myself that God would heal the intense pain in my back that made it basically impossible to even sit in the seat, and then I sighed and just stopped.
And then God spoke to me. For real.
You’re gonna love how He talks to me.
He’s like..Rachelle. Are you kidding me right now?
What do you not understand about obedience?
YOU ARE NOT OBEYING ME! this one sounded loud in my head, hence the all caps.ha!
I muttered something about it not making a difference anyways, and what’s the point of doing it if I don’t really feel like it’s working.
HE responded with- stop being such a brat! If I tell you to obey me, you better obey me and stop whining and complaining about everything along the way.
I am not asking you to do anything except for obey.
I say to pray, so pray.
And then he was done.
And I heard what he said.
I knew He was right. He always is.
But what I love about God is that He’s not just all hammer. He is love and He is kind.
And this morning when I was reading my Bible, He brought me to a passage in Isaiah that says this:
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.
He does not ask us to obey without giving us anything in return!
He promises to give peace when we just keep our minds steadfast.
So then I had to look up what mind meant in the Hebrew. It really means our imagination and our thoughts, so then I had to look up all the other passages that use that same word to talk about our imagination.
And this is what hit me.
In 1 Chronicles it says that the Lord searches all our hearts and understands all the imaginations of our hearts.
I can not tell you how much I needed this.
He understands my thoughts. My imaginations. My FEELINGS!
And sometimes that’s all I need.
I need to know that someone understands my feelings.
And I stopped. And I obeyed.
I have to be completely open here, I did not really feel anymore like it was making a difference.
But I was obeying.
And I was just resting and trusting that if I did what God told me to, He would do the rest.
So today. On this Monday, maybe you just need to be reminded to obey.
Obey if you don’t understand.
Obey if it doesn’t make sense.
Obey if you don’t feel like it.
Because obedience brings blessings.
And that’s all God is asking us to do.
And I am pretty sure He gives you permission to get a little more coffee than normal today.
Happy Monday, peeps.