It’s funny that I’ve heard this comment on a few different occasions lately: Your kids don’t need a friend, they need a parent.
It didn’t quite sit right with me the first time I heard it, but I didn’t really think too much about it.
When I heard it the second time, it really got me thinking.
Where does that statement come from?
Is it based on someone’s experience, or is it Biblically based?
So the question is raised –
Should you be friends with your kids?
I think that the simple, not-getting-into-any-detail answer is yes. Yes, yes and more yes.
The longer answer involves a little bit more.
I found Merriam-Webster’s definition of friend pretty interesting and actually made me make those awwwww sounds when I though of it in relation to my boys.
: a person who you like and enjoy being with
: a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity)
Full Definition of FRIEND
a : one attached to another by affection or esteem
b : acquaintance
a : one that is not hostile
b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
: a favored companion
So based on that definition? YES!
1. My boys are definitely people I like and enjoy being with!
And YES they help and support me so much.
They support me physically: with help around the house.
They support me emotionally: with hugs when I’m down, with jokes to make me laugh, with kind and uplifting words.
And YES! I am attached to my boys by affection and esteem! I have so much affection for them. I absolutely esteem them!
They are valued.
They are important.
They do things that make me proud.
And Yes! They are my favored companions.
Hanging out with them is my favorite. We have the best times playing games, watching football, singing, doing ministry, and eating together!
I understand the general idea that comes from the fact that many parents get confused when it comes to authority…and that is a totally different issue.
When parents think that they can only be the “favored companion”, and can not be the one who is in charge at the same time?
There is confusion, for sure.
There has to be honor and respect. That’s Biblical.
But there can absolutely be friendship. That’s also Biblical.
Being friends with my boys is such an incredible honor.
And the friendship I have with my parents is such a joy to me.
So the answer to my question should you be friends with your kids?
Doesn’t it have to be yes?
I would love to sit down with you at my table with a cup of coffee and just talk about everything parenting.
We need to be so careful that we aren’t taking generalized comments and making them into the way we live our lives! Don’t we? We need to be doing things on purpose. Making choices on purpose. Living our lives as moms on purpose. I am planning an Open Table for Moms night here in NH in the next month or 2. I would love to be able to take this even further and travel to your state and have an open table there.
I don’t have all the answers, but I have the most incredible parenting guide, written by the one who created our children.
And I love going through the guide as much as I can.
You can contact me here if you are interested in having me come to your state for an open table night!