All that I am

 

I had to read this verse a few times. In a few different versions.

Let ALL that I am wait quietly. What does all that I am mean?
The KJV says “My soul wait thou only upon God.”
My soul. The Hebrew word for soul is nephesh.
It means the inner being of man. The seat of emotions and passions, the activity of mind, will and character.

It’s like all in.
It means more than just quoting a verse.
It means more than just a feeling.
In fact, it probably means believing something totally and completely different than what your feelings are screaming at you!
It’s being quiet when you want to scream.
It’s being quiet when you want to run and take action.
It’s being quiet when you want to give someone the what for.
But it’s not just being quiet and waiting alone.
It’s being quiet before God.
The reason it is an activity of the will and character is because the natural thing to do in certain situations is to get up and act!! And while there are obviously times actions are required, there are many times when the opposite of acting is required.
And that is an activity of the will.
It’s hard.
It takes major strong will. Major discipline.
It’s holding everything in. But not in a bitter, resentful way.
It’s holding everything in before an awesome and Holy God and releasing everything to Him.

The Bible can cut you to the quick.
It’s alive.
It pierces you.
It shines light on your dark places.
It challenges you to be stronger.
It’s pushy. And it’s pushy because God wants you to be better.
To be stronger.
To be more like Him.

Do you need to wait quietly?
Oh I do. You have no idea how much I want to say.
How much I want to do.
But instead I have to wait. And wait quietly.
Not easy. But really my best option.
I need to wait. To wait quietly with all that I am. My hope is in Him.

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