Have you ever felt sick and tired of something? Maybe it’s something you can’t change. Maybe you are sick and tired of potty training. I remember one day in particular when the boys were 2 and 4 and I was at Sam’s Club buying food for a Snow Camp Adam and I were putting on. I was a little overwhelmed with the task in the first place, but as soon as I had gotten the boys in the cart and made it to the very back of the store, Riley had to go to the bathroom. I ran to the front of the store where the bathroom was. False Alarm. This happened at least 2 more times and I was really wishing for the days of diapers again! I will spare you the rest of the story, but suffice it to say, I was sick and tired of potty training!
But maybe you are sick and tired of something you can have control over. Maybe you are sick and tired of the kids talking back. I remember many times where I was so overtired from a million different things and the talking back started happening (always in the most inopportune places) and I just felt out of control of the situation. The feelings of frustration, confusion, helplessness and irritation are not words that anyone wants to characterize themselves as being.
I want to give you a couple quick tips if you are in the place of feeling sick and tired.
1. Pick one or two major things that are making you feel that way, and focus on them. This is always my advice to tired mamas. I know if can feel like everything is falling apart sometimes, but remember. This time is going to pass. You are going to make it through. And you can do it! You really can. Pick the one main thing that is making you feel the most frustrated and just focus on that this week. The other issues can wait. So starting today, until next Monday, focus on just the talking back. Or on just the hitting. Or on just the saying no. I recommend keeping a chart. (I made this one so you can see what I mean) This way you can see the progress!
|DATE||Offense||What I did||What I should have done||Results|
|2/21||Said no when I told him to clean his room||Screamed||Given him one more chance, then told him to go to his room so I could get my Bible discipline him.||I was frustrated and mad, his room is still a mess!|
|2/22||Said no when I told him to set the table||Gave him another chance, then disciplined w/ Bible||He apologized and set the table.||The table is set, and I am less stressed!|
2. Use the replacement method. Here is what I mean by that. It is so easy to just keep telling your kids to stop doing something! Stop crying. Stop hitting your brother. Stop talking back. Stop getting irritated so easily! But. The way life has to work for us and our kids is to not only just stop what we are doing wrong. But to replace it with what is right. Just like when you have a flat tire.. the problem is not solved once you remove the bad tire! You have to replace it with a good tire before you can start driving again! Here’s what it looks like in real time.
If your child is getting into the habit of talking back to you: Instead of saying “stop talking back all the time!”, you tell them that instead of talking back, this is how they need to respond. When you tell them to do something, they have to respond with “yes, mom”. This is teaching them that it is not honoring to talk back and disagree with their mom, and it is honoring to show respect by saying yes, and then obeying. It can work with any issue that is going on. Instead of complaining, you say something you’re thankful for. Instead of crying when you don’t get your way, you start singing a song. Instead of hitting your brother, you say something nice about him. (you should try this in your relationships with others too!) Get creative with it! You find the sin. And then you practice replacing it with what is obedient to God! We just made up a little catch phrase that we are going to start saying instead of being quick to get irritated with each other. It’s all about discipline. We have to practice doing the right thing, and our kids have to as well. Ephesians talks about putting off what is wrong and putting on what is right! You can check out this link which is an awesome resource for the sins we need to put off and the right things we need to put on! We need to become habitual obeyers.
So if you are feeling sick and tired of potty training? Sorry dudes. You gotta ride this one out. ha!
But if you are feeling sick and tired of issues with the kids? Pick one or two things. Focus on them this week, and use the replacement method. And remember…you got this!