I suppose I could be called a people-pleaser. I mean, I don’t really think of it as a negative. I just love people. I love meeting new people, and I love spending time with them! One of my favorite places to be is sitting at starbucks with a steaming hot chai tea latte and a new friend. I love asking questions and really getting to know someone. I just want to find out what makes people tick. What their childhood was like and how it’s affected their life now. What their dreams and passions are. What gets them up in the morning and what keeps them going. I have sat across from so many people and listened to their stories. I have a phone filled with texts..some from friends I have never even met face to face! I just can’t get enough of it. The one problem with this is the realization that not everyone is going to like me. I mean. Duh. Right? Of course not everyone is going to like me. But still, it confuses and hurts me when people reject me or reject someone from my family. I have seen this played out over and over. It’s been directed towards my husband, towards my kids and definitely towards me. And not only have I been part of this mean little game, but I have seen people take their distain for me or my family and try to spread it. They try to get other people on team-anti-rachelle. They try and convince other people that I am something I’m not, and what happens is- I start getting distracted. Being totally transparent here, my first reaction tends to be all gangsta like. I’m all…Oh no you di’int! Giiiirrrlllll, you gonna pay for that. Facebook that. And then I have to be like. Oh wait a minute here. Maybe I need to be a little more mature. I’m going to take the high road here…because I am way better than they are and who needs them anyways. Whoops..see where it goes then?! Sheesh! It’s like I can’t win with myself sometimes! I can’t even do the right thing without becoming prideful that I did the right thing! The apostle Paul ringing any bells?!
I need analogies in my life. Everything has to be able to be compared to something. So in this case, I started thinking about life as a competition. I am the gymnast. (See..I bet you didn’t know I had a slight obsession with Nadia Comaneci growing up and I dreamed of being in the olympics.) And in this competition I have to impress one person. One person decides my score. One person decides my rating. One person decides whether or not I get the medal. (I know, I know…it’s a panel. But you get my point) As I am performing, I am focused. Focused on what I have trained for. What I have worked so hard at. What my goal is…the gold medal. What would happen if someone from the crowd started telling people around them what a terrible person I was. Would it affect the outcome? Would it affect my placement at all? No. Not at all. Because I’m not performing for the crowd. I’m performing for the judge. And the judge happens to be watching me. Not listening to the crowd.
And that’s where it’s all at, my friends. It’s this ridiculous confusion that gets me all riled up when it doesn’t need to. I have been training my whole life for what I do every day. It takes discipline to get up early and read my Bible. It takes hard work to submit to your husband when you want to get your own way. It takes self-control to make wise financial decisions. It takes strength to discipline your kids the way God tells you to when everyone around you disagrees with how you’re doing it. But this. This life. This place God has called me…it is for the judge I am performing. And he is watching my moves, and basing his decision on me on what I am doing. Not on what the crowd is saying. I am trying to please God with my life. Not people.
Other people might be trying to sway the crowd to turn away from me, but I’m not performing for the crowd. I’m performing for the judge.
So two things. Number 1. Don’t be that kind of crowd. Don’t try and sway others to turn away from someone. Anyone. Even if they are mean and horrible. It’s just plain wrong.
Number 2. Remember who you’re performing for, but don’t become bitter with a tough crowd. Sometimes the crowd around you will be supportive, and sometimes they will let you down. Don’t let it keep you down.
So you want to know why I stopped performing for the crowd? Because the crowd will never be happy with what I do anyways. I can never please everyone. I need to live my life so that I have a clear conscience before God and before man. Their opinion of me is their opinion of me and it should never affect how I train, or how I perform. I stopped performing for the crowd because the crowd doesn’t reward me. The crowd doesn’t always support me and the crowd doesn’t always love me. The judge does. The judge loves me unconditionally and always, always values me.
Stop performing for the crowd. Remember who the judge is.