What is this post possibly going to be talking about?! Don’t worry…I won’t make you feel uncomfortable!
When I decided to write about this topic, it was for a very good reason. I have watched a lot of marriages over the years. Some marriages have lasted through trials and storms, and others have broken up at the first sight of trouble. For years, I have also seen people trying to figure out what the secret is to keeping a marriage together. Some people like to use the standard communication is the key answer, while others come up with long lists in keeping your marriage strong. Some make sense, others don’t.
It is no secret that I believe keeping God as the foundation of your life is the key to keeping a marriage strong, but even that is kind of a generalized answer. I don’t have all the answers. I am not trying to claim that I do. But after being married for over 15 years I have definitely learned some things about how to and how not to act!
If I could only give a woman just one piece of advice on how she needs to act as a wife, it would come in the form of a question:
Does your husband fully trust you?
Provberbs 31:10-11 talks about a virtuous woman (or a woman of noble character) when it says this… A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. The King James version says that the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.
I have seen over and over again wives who think it is perfectly acceptable to put their husband down, talk bad about his character and make him look awful in front of him as well as behind his back. I do think that this is a huge problem, but that is not actually what I am talking about right now.
What I am talking about right now is sex…And all the talking about it. And here is what I believe. There should be at least one thing in your marriage that is just between you and your husband.
No one else. And that one thing should be your sexual relationship. Sex is something that has become totally normal and commonplace not only with adults, but with children as well. I see that all the time in my line of work. Sex is nothing more than another act of “love” or lust in any given relationship. With all the movies and books written about it, people are being encouraged to talk about all the aspects of it with their friends. When this happens, it now makes your marriage relationship no different than your friend relationships. I mean, what is any different about it? Nothing is sacred, everything is open for discussion.
Sex was designed to be something between the husband and the wife. Not the husband and the wife and the girls down at the coffee shop.
So the next time you go to talk about the good or bad details of your sex life with your friends, maybe think again. Think about if your husband would still have full confidence in you if you continued to talk about it. Think about if your husband’s heart is safe to trust you when he knows you are going to be hanging out with your best friend. Then just stop. Keep sex the one thing that is just between you and your husband. It becomes the unique and differentiating strand that keeps your relationship stronger than any other relationship. And isn’t that what you want?
So when I say Let’s talk about sex? What I really mean is let’s not. Let’s keep it the way God intended it, even when the rest of the world is screaming different and convincing messages our way. When I look around me and see the way marriages are ending? I sure don’t want any advice coming from those screaming voices. I want advice that is tried and true. I want advice from the designer of marriage. That is the kind of advice that is going to make my marriage last. Let’s make sure our husbands can safely trust us. It will keep our marriages strong.