It starts with the “why’s?” of the 2-year-old…remember those days? Maybe you haven’t even gotten there yet, or maybe you are long past those days. But then maybe you are right smack dab in the middle of it. You feel like you are answering questions of why over and over and over again! It seems easy and obvious that when your 2-year-old asks you why you are the one to answer. You are her mom. You are going to give her the answers, because who else would? It has to be you.
But the older your kids get, the less frequently they ask you those why questions. They start figuring out answers on their own. They learn from teachers or friends, or (let’s be honest here) they learn from watching tv.
The truth of the matter is, no matter how old you get, there are always going to be questions. Always. I have questions all the time. Questions about people, about life, about myself that I just don’t understand. That I want answers to.
I love thinking. I always want to know why, and I always want to go a little deeper. As I started thinking about the fact that I have questions, I realized the same will be true of my kids. But I also realized that I may not always be the person they are asking their questions to.Our kids are going to have questions. Who are we going to let answer them?
I don’t think it is ever wrong to have questions. I think it’s normal. But what can so easily happen as our kids get older, is we start assuming. We start assuming that they are figuring life out, and that they will just ask us if they have a question. But ya know what? They might not! They might ask someone else, or they might just hold it in and think there is something wrong with them for even thinking it in the first place!
We have to be so careful that we are not making our kids feel like there is something wrong with them for questioning things. They were created to be creative. To be thinkers. To long for wisdom. It is our job as the parent to help them sort out what they are thinking vs. what is true.
I am blown away by the way our world is teaching kids to follow their heart. To base decisions on their feelings. These are the last things our kids need to start believing. Our hearts are deceitful and our feelings can change.
We have to teach our kids that feelings are real, and that they were given to us for a reason. But then we have to help them sort out the difference between feelings and truth. There is a big difference. *Don’t ever teach your kids that it is wrong to have questions. I want my kids to ask questions. If they ask questions about God, about their emotions, about their friends, about their circumstances…I want it to be me they are asking. Because I am going to be able to reinforce the fact that truth comes from God. And we can work through what the answers to those questions are.
Be the answer. And if you don’t have the answer? Don’t be afraid to tell them that you just plain don’t know! It’s ok to say that!
If you are not the one answering their questions, someone else will. And I, for one, do not want to take the chance that some other person is going to be giving answers to questions my kids are too afraid to ask me.
So tonight. Encourage your kids to ask questions. Give them a place where they are allowed to be open and honest and know that you are not going to judge them. And then you can love them, and give them the truth for the questions they are asking.