Mommy Monday ~ Teaching your kids to overlook offenses

Being offended is something that comes pretty easily to all of us. When people do or say something that is hurtful, it can be so easy to hold on to it, let it ruin your day, which affects every other relationship in your life as well.

As a mom, it is pretty easy to teach my boys what they need to do to help them succeed in life. The difficult part is doing the very things I am teaching! I can teach principles all the day long…then people come into play. People can make things tricky. I can think about not being offended…until someone offends me! Am I right?!

I was reading this verse this morning in Psalms 119.
Great peace have they which love your law: and nothing shall offend them. 
Wow. Nothing? Nothing will offend me if I am loving God’s Word? I started looking deeper into it, and this is what I realized.

The more time I spend getting to know God, the more I realize how fair, just and loving He is. When I realize how fair, just and loving He is, I realize that He is the one who controls what happens in my life. When I realize that He is the one who controls what happens in my life, I realize that I don’t have to worry for one pretty little second what other people are saying about me or doing to me. And you know what? That is incredibly freeing. Because let’s face it. When I spend so much time thinking about what other people are saying to me or doing to me and dwelling on how unfair it is? It still doesn’t change what they have said or what they have done! The only thing that  has changed is how I am letting it affect me! And that, my friends, is where the peace comes in. I receive great peace when I don’t let people’s words or actions affect me. And also? The entire household becomes peaceful when everyone is getting along and feeling calm and relaxed!

What greater gift can I give my children than peace? By teaching my kids to love God’s Word, I am giving them the gift of confidence, assurance and peace.

Provberbs 12:16 is a verse we say a lot in this house. Fools shows their annoyance at once, but a prudent overlook an insult. 

I always tell my boys that when someone has done something to hurt them, they have 2 choices.
1. Overlook it. Don’t think about it again, don’t hold a record of wrong and don’t be offended.
If that is not possible, and they find themselves truly hurt by it, they have a second choice.
2. Go to the person. Humbly and lovingly tell them that what they did hurt them, and try to make it right. Restore the relationship right away, before you let it go any further.

There is no third choice. There is no option of holding on to it. Getting bitter. Holding a record of wrongs. No. That is just not an option. It helps no one.

Unforgiveness is like a chain that binds you to the sin of the other person. 

No one wants that for themselves, and no mom wants that for her child. We need to stop holding on to unforgiveness and we need to teach our kids to do the same. The first step to this principle is realizing it yourself, and making sure that you…as the parent…are following these rules. The second step is acting it out in front of your kids so that they see you doing it. The hard part? In order to act it out, it involves you getting hurt in the first place! It then becomes the real deal. It becomes you teaching your kids that the Bible is a guidebook that is relevant and real. And when you start overlooking offenses, you get peace.  And then you can easily start teaching your kids the same thing.

Let’s be honest. Most people that we see have not gotten a hold of this principle. How many sports players have you watched get fouled, and then they instantly jump up and start going buck wild on the person who committed the foul?! We have our work cut out for us as parents, because what we are teaching, is often the exact opposite of what they are seeing everywhere else!

But we can still do it! Start trying this principle today. Overlook offenses. Just plain don’t allow yourself to be offended. Then you can enjoy the peaceful, confident life that makes everything else better.

 Rachelle is available to speak at conferences, churches, retreats and special events. Click on the   my speaking tab at the top of the page for booking information

4 thoughts on “Mommy Monday ~ Teaching your kids to overlook offenses

  1. This is so good! I can’t wait to teach my son/daughter this!!!! {Awhile ago, I posted a comment about how I love your “mommy monday” series and couldn’t wait to apply your suggestions and be an intentional parent. You offered your prayers of getting pregnant and I appreciate that soo much because God has answered our prayers and I’m now pregnant!! Woohoo!!!}


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