Here’s the thing. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I don’t say that like it’s a good thing, I really don’t think it is. I will either have all the self control in the world and refrain from eating a single crumb of a brownie? Or I will eat the whole cotton picking tray. I put my heart and my soul into my family, into friendships, into my business, into life. And sometimes, I get a little carried away with things because I think I have to do everything. And I mean everything. I work hard. Think hard. Love hard.
Enter Facebook. It started out just like any other thing. It was a way to keep up with my old friends and even make some new ones. Then it got a little bit bigger when I started using it for my business. I get a ton of inquiries through my business page and it is definitely beneficial in that aspect.
Then came a little bit of a scene that could have been straight out of the movies mean girls (which, I have never seen, but by the title and the reviews I get the main gist, and think I could have starred in it.) As I found myself getting unfriended again and again, and then watching drama go down on the pages of my computer screen, I was finding another side of myself come out that I didn’t even know existed. I was feeling hurt and frustration and sadness from people all over the place. These were not the kind of feelings that were keeping me from living my life, but it was just enough to cause me to start wondering if I was a good enough friend, if I was just plain good enough at all. Kind of dramatic, I know.
So I decided to take a break, just for a week. And I did. Then I got back on and things went on as normal. A little thought here, a little sadness there, and I felt again like I should step away for a while. But I pushed the thought off, because ya know…it’s good for my business. And my blog. And, come on now. I’m fine.
I decided that I would only get on Facebook 3 days a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday… and that would take these frustrations away. Which could have worked. Except I didn’t do it. So, there’s that.
I don’t know how to explain how my feelings starting going haywire, because there are a lot of aspects of my life that could be causing that. I couldn’t describe it to you if I tried, but there were all these hideous emotions coming up and I just knew it was wrong. All wrong. I don’t think it was necessarily all stemming from Facebook, but it definitely wasn’t helping.
Now here I was at this conference. This amazing, God-honoring, friend-filled conference. It was the last night there, and I had really learned so much. And? I had only been on Facebook once or twice and hadn’t even missed it. In fact, I was not even thinking about that.
We had already closed with our last song, and the very last speaker stood up and said…Maybe there is someone in this room who has to get rid of Facebook altogether. SCREEEEECCCHHHHHH.
God, is that you? Nope. It couldn’t be. Moving on.
But wait. What was that? Get rid of Facebook? Couldn’t be meant for me. I’m sure there’s another girl in this room who has major issues. Ha. But the voice came again, and I was pretty sure it was to me.
So we had a little talk, me and God. It went a little something like this.
Me: God. You could not possibly mean you want me to get rid of Facebook all together!!
God: Yes. That is exactly what I mean Rachelle.
Me: But God. I mean, my business! I have been asking you to bless my business, and you have been blessing it. And you know so much of that comes from my fb page!
God: I’m pretty sure that since I created the world and all, your business doesn’t really depend on social media. It kinda just depends on me.
Me: Well played, God. But seriously…I can just do a better job controlling my emotions and managing my time better.
God: Hm. Funny you should say that, Rachelle, because if you would have just listened to me last week and only done the Monday Wednesday Friday thing? Maybe we could have worked with that. But now you gotta get rid of it all.
Me: Well. I think it’s pretty clear that you are really talking to me at this point. So I think I better listen.
And as you know…I did not hear an actual voice saying all of this to me, but it was so clear that I had no doubt it was what I was supposed to be hearing. And the sad part? I felt nervous about getting rid of a stinking rotten Facebook page! I mean, are you kidding me? How old am I?!
As soon as I had heard why I had to close my Facebook account, I was sure to tell a couple of close girl friends. See…I know myself. I know that I can hear God tell me to do something, but then I can brush it off and act like it wasn’t really Him in the first place. I needed to say out loud what I had just heard so that these girls would keep me accountable. And so. Just like that. I am over and out with Facebook…Maybe not for the rest of my life. But for a good length of time.
I will still be on instagram, and I will still be blogging. But the time I was wasting on social media, the emotions I was feeling because of it all? All that will be poured out in other areas.
I want to write a book. I have wanted to for a long time, but have been losing too much energy on needless things. I want to be more intentional with my blogging. I want to be more focused on my family, my ministry, my business.
When God speaks, you gotta listen. It’s always good. Always.
Is there anything in your life that God has been whispering for you to do? Is there anything you keep brushing off even though you know you need to do it?
You should go do that. Like…now. Just do it.
October first will be a good day for me. A lot of different things going on in my life right now. A lot of change. And one change that I think I will really love, is closing the door on the thing God has been trying to get me to close.
And I feel a huge sense of relief already.
*While my blogs will not automatically post on Facebook anymore, I will still be writing every day, and you can follow my blog as well as receive my posts in your email!*