I just didn’t want to go

It was a freezing cold night in the middle of December. 

I had 2 kids, both in diapers and one on formula. Money was tight, and sleep was nonexistent. There was a Ladies cookie swap at our church and it was honestly just about the last place I wanted to be. Not at all because of what it was, or because of who was going. Just because I was tired. And discouraged. I just didn’t want to leave the house.

But I remember praying and feeling like God was telling me to go. I felt like He was telling me that I needed to change my attitude and make an effort to try and encourage someone who was there. 

So I went. I was still tired, and discouraged, but I went.

Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do.

I remember talking to a particular woman that night who I had thought didn’t really like me. We had never really talked much at church before, and we just didn’t seem to hit it off. I opened up with her a little bit that night. I told her that finances were really tight, and I hand’t slept more than 2 hours straight for probably 2 years. I told her that my husband was working late every night and I was just plain exhausted. The conversation probably didn’t last for more than 5 minutes, tops, and I am sure it was filled with me telling jokes and being sarcastic about the whole thing, and making it seem like it wasn’t a big deal, because that’s how I cope.

I didn’t really think another thing about the conversation after I went home, and I felt like I had done the right thing by going out that night.

What I didn’t expect was what happened next.

It was 10:30 the next morning. I was still in my pajamas, and the only makeup I had on my face was the leftover mascara from the night before. The kids were playing in our small apartment, and there were toys everywhere.

There was a knock on the door. Oh man…I didn’t even have time to shove the toys into the basket, or pick up the bottles and sippy cups off the floor! And I had no idea who I was going to be opening the door to.

I opened the door. It was this lady I had spoken with the night before. By her feet were 2 cases of diapers, containers of formula, a huge box of chocolates and a gift card to the grocery store. She had tears in her eyes as she told me that she had thought differently of me until the night before. She thought that I had it all together because that’s the way it looked when she saw me come in to church every Sunday morning…my hair and make up done. Perfectly matching outfit on the boys, and a smile on my face.

Don’t judge a person by what they look like on Sunday morning.

The actions of that woman impacted my life in an amazing way. She lived out love. And it affected me and my family incredibly, and I will never forget it. I couldn’t help but wonder…what if I had not gone to the cookie swap? What if I had decided to stay home like I wanted to? 

Today was another day I just didn’t want to go.

It was a rough morning to start with, that actually began with going to bed later than I should have which resulted in me waking up later than I intended to. A disagreement here, an annoyance there, a financial issue here…and before I knew it, it was 1:00. The time designated once a week to opening The Porch. I love The Porch. I really do. I can not even express how much I love serving the kids in our town. But today? Today was different. The summer is always hit or miss as far as kids coming in and so sometimes, I feel like it’s pointless to open. But Adam thought that we should, and I knew he was right. I was irritable, and annoyed and probably should have read my Bible a few more times before I left.

But I knew that Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do.

So I went. And I had a good attitude because I knew it was what God wanted us to do. Only 2 teenagers came in, but I decided to make sure that they were prayed for and cared about. 

About 2:00, a woman came in. I had never met her before but she introduced herself and said that she used to live in town. She said she was up visiting for 3 days from D.C. and just happened to be walking down the street and saw that we were open. She asked me if I would be able to pray for her. For the next 10-15 minutes she shared with me a little bit about her life. Her past. Her marriage. Her family. She wanted prayer and she knew that God would answer. She quoted scripture to me, and told me that she knew God could do miracles but she needed help really believing. She cried, and I hugged her and prayed over her. I prayed for a miracle. I prayed for peace, for comfort, for strength. I told her that we were only open for 2 hours a week during the summer, and asked her what the chances were that she happened to be walking by at that time.

We both knew it was not a coincidence.

I couldn’t help but wonder. What if I had not gone to The Porch today? What if I had decided to stay home like I wanted to?

Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do.

I got a text from that woman tonight that said. Thank you. You are needed here. May God bless you and your family.

You are needed here? I have to say that sometimes I don’t feel like I’m needed here. I don’t fee like I’m making all that much of a difference. I mean…some people have ministries with hundreds, even thousands of people being touched. But me? Being needed here? In this little, tiny town of Epping? But today. Today, I was reminded again of God’s perfect plan. Of how nothing is a coincidence. I am needed here. Just like you are needed where you are. Because this is where God has us. And sometimes it takes a complete stranger to remind us of basic, simple truths.

Keep doing the hard things. Go to church when it’s hard to wake up in the morning and get out of the house. Bring a meal to someone who is sick when it’s hard to even make a meal for your own family. Read your Bible first thing when it’s easier to catch up on your emails. Go to the places you just don’t want to go to, because you just never know who might bless you..  And you just never know who might need you to bless them.

Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do.

But the right thing to do is always the best thing to do.





3 thoughts on “I just didn’t want to go

  1. Wow, did I need that this morning!!! Thanks Rachelle for sharing this great story!!! Sometimes we forget how something simple we do can impact someone’s life in a great way! And unfortunately I’m guilty of letting those opportunities pass sometimes. This was a great reminder, thanks!!
    PS: I miss Epping cookie swaps!!!


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