I write. A lot.
Like, sometimes I just find random notebooks from years ago that I have written all sorts of things in.
I don’t necessarily journal, although I like the idea of it, and I wish I did more.
But sometimes it’s fun to just find something and think…wow, I was feeling like that then?!? Weird!
This is from February 2, 1990 (I was 13)
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day, even though it’s snowing.
Thank you for the warm place that I have to live in.
I saw Andy at the game today, and he LOOKED AT ME! (yes…this was in all caps)
I’m so glad I have you to talk to about this. No one else would understand.
Please help my face to clear-up…Thanks for listening to me.
Please help my Tony to get saved. He needs you so bad.
I love you!
This makes me smile because Andy was a guy that went to the high school my sister was going to (I was still being home-schooled at this point) and seriously.. he looked at me?!?!?
And “my Tony” was referring to none other than Tony Eason, who was the quaterback for the New England Patriots. I honestly prayed for him every single day. No lie.
And the funny thing is that everything I wrote was never for a show.
It was like my personal journal. I wasn’t blogging it. I wasn’t instagramming it. I wasn’t updating my Facebook status. So I guess I really thought he was “my Tony”. And everything I was writing was just pure, straight-up Rachelle.
Here’s why I love looking at things like this.
It helps me to remember a few things.
1. I had parents who took me seriously.
My parents let me paste pictures of my Tony on my wall, write “I love Tony” all over my high top balloon sneakers, and they actually took me seriously. They looked at me with a straight face when I asked if I could please have a jersey with number 11 on the front and number 2 on the back (for Doug Flutie, obvi.) for Christmas.
It reminds me that I need to take my own kids seriously, and the kids from The Porch as well.
Things were a big deal to me. They seemed huge, even though now I can see that they were not.
And having people in your life who take you seriously too? Priceless.
2. Jesus has been a friend to me since I was little.
I remember what my face looked like when I was 13. I remember wearing big bangs over my forehead to try and cover up all the pimples. And I remember praying and asking God to please help my face to clear up. It was real. It was a relationship with a Heavenly Father, and I still have it.
It’s pretty incredible, and it’s why I encourage my boys to pray about everything. Everything.
God wants to have a personal relationship with us. He cares about every single detail in our lives.
If it’s a big deal to us, it’s a big deal to Him.
3. It is always a good idea to be thankful.
I like looking back and seeing what I was thankful for.
I was thankful that I had a warm place to live. Please understand, that I did not have a nice, warm place to live, as many of you would describe nice. But I grew up in a home that was loving, and that completely met my needs.
I was thankful that a boy, who literally never knew my name, had looked at me.
Wow. That is really digging deep to find something, right? But it was something.
And to a 13-year-old, boy crazy girl, it was huge.
It is always a good idea to be thankful. Because, why not?
Is your house smaller than you wish? Be thankful.
Is your weight more than what you want? Be thankful.
Are your friends fewer than you want? Be thankful.
Just be thankful.
Take the seemingly meaningless, little, tiny details of life and make them huge.
Make them all huge.
So here you have it. An entry from the journal of 13-year-old Rachelle.
Just keeping it real.