I do not watch the bachelor.
I need to start out by saying that.
However, last night we happened to turn the tv on just as the show was ending.
I watched as a girl said excitedly into the camera...
“I just hope I can leave this island an engaged woman!”
And then I saw the first 15 seconds of the preview of what next week would hold (and then quickly turned the channel because of the filth that was being shown)
And I could not help but think…
This is an absolute mockery of marriage!
This is not real!
Marriage if no joke, peeps.
It is the mother of all promises.
It is a covenant.
It is day after day and year after year of hard work.
Some really great days, and some really bad days.
It is filled with some really sweet stories, and some really bad ones.
It is a decision that has to be made to think of another person as better than yourself.
To not hold a record of another person’s wrongs.
Tto endure hard times, to not be irritable, to not become bitter and to not insist on your own way.
And when marriage is carried out the way it was intended to be carried out, it is beautiful.
It has nothing to do with what a person looks like, how much money they make or how much they make you laugh.
Sure. Those can be added bonuses, but it has nothing to do with what the beauty of marriage is!
As I watched this guy look at a couple of girls bodies (let’s just call it for what it clearly is) and I watched a couple of girls acting as if this was everything they dreamed it would be…It honestly made me kind of nauseous.
It made me think of the last 14 years of my life.
And what those years looked like without an all expenses paid trip to St. Lucia, without make up artists surrounding me, cameras in my face and celebrity status.
It made me think of what marriage really is.
It is a relationship that has gone through some rough days.
Some days of feeling totally sorry for myself, and feeling like Adam just didn’t care.
It is a relationship that has gone through some amazing days. Days of feeling like I have the best life in the entire world and a husband who is the best man on the planet.
And the reality of it all is just that…
It is a reality.
Not a reality show.
Do you see the irony in what we call these shows?
What the bachelor is blaring into the homes of America is not reality, people.
Not by a long shot.
I wish that we would stop portraying important aspects of our lives like
as something that comes and goes.
As something that you do just because you think someone it sounds like fun, or makes you look good.
As something that works when you take one beautiful, skinny, rich person and pair them with another beautiful, skinny rich person.
Ugh. If you’re gonna do a show like that, can the end result not be marriage?
I mean, call it something else!
A good marriage is a selfless marriage.
A good marriage is a loving marriage.
A good marriage is a self-sacrificing marriage.
It’s never all about me and my needs.
It is always all about my husband and all his needs.
It is not 50/50.
It is 100/100.
When I give everything in me to serve, please and love my husband…
and he gives everything in him to serve, please and love me – that is when we have a good, solid marriage.
Let’s be teaching our kids what marriage really is.
When 2 people are so focused on pleasing God that the only obvious response is loving their husband or wife with an unconditional love…
That is what marriage should look like.
Sorry ABC. You have it all, all totally wrong.
A happy marriage is a Godly marriage.