Mommy Monday ~ Are we raising ignorant children?

Ignorance. It’s kind of running rampant these days. And I’m not just talking about the enormous amount of adults who don’t know how to use the words your and you’re correctly. I’m talking about basic, everyday decision making that is deciding futures.

Every once in a while, I will ask different teenagers at The Porch how they decide what is right and what is wrong. Do you know the #1 answer? Whatever feels right. Yikes. We are living around the majority of people who think that the way to find out if something is right or wrong is if it feels right. Well, I guess the results of that make sense.
When this is what you’re feeling: Depression. I guess that suicide, or cutting, or bullying might feel right. So it would mean that in that case it would be right. Right?

When this is what you’re feeling: Anger. I guess that beating someone up, school shootings, mouthing off to authorities, drugs or alcohol would feel right. So it would mean that in that case it would be right. Right?

Hm. What about this. What about if we gave you something that told you what was right or wrong and it didn’t have to do with how you were feeling? Wouldn’t that be a relief? You don’t have to trust in your ever changing feelings to determine right or wrong? I mean, after all. Your feelings are going to change based on your circumstances, how much sleep you’ve had, how much you’ve eaten and a few other things. So it would be way easier to just give you something to go by! And that is exactly how we are called to raise our children.

I was thinking about the verse in 2 Corinthians 2 that says this:

We are not ignorant of his (satan’s) devices. The verse is in reference to unforgiveness. If I have unforgiveness, satan gets an advantage on me. So I started doing some research on what exactly satan’s devices are. I am a competitive person. I do not like the idea of anyone have an advantage on me! I want everything going for me so I have a chance to win. I want the same for my kids.

How do I make sure that my kids have the advantage in life? Well. I find out what satan’s devices are. So I did a little studying. Starting in Genesis. There are many ways that satan tries to trick us, but here are a few main ones.

1. Doubting God. Now you may just skim over this one and think, ya, ya, ya. I know there’s a God. But that’s not what I mean. Eve knew there was a God. But in the Garden of Eden she started doubting what God said, and what He meant by it. We show that we doubt God when we start disobeying his commands. When we start justifying our sins. When we start doubting truths about Him (like He loves us and has a plan for us) and commands by Him. (like speaking evil of no man, like answering a matter before hearing both sides, like staying pure, and many others) When we start doubting that certain things about God are true, and start doubting that certain commands are necessary? Satan is getting an advantage of us.

2. Staying angry. Ephesians 4 is clear that we are not supposed to let the day end with us being angry. We are told that we are giving opportunity to the devil when we do that. Giving him opportunity? No thanks. Not on my watch!

3. Having bitter envying and selfishness. This is crazy, because James talks about how when we have bitterness and become self-centered? He calls that devilish and tells us not to lie to ourselves and justify our actions. Weird, right? Because bitterness, envy and selfishness don’t really seem like the biiiig sins, ya know? It seems like oh just a little bit of…let’s call it irritation. And I’m not bitter, I’m just not going to let anyone do that to me again. We are pretty good at justifying our sins, but when we do that, satan gets the advantage!

Why do we feel like we’re winning when satan is getting the advantage?!?
We are not winning! 
Just yesterday in church, my dad said that satan is subtle. The sin doesn’t leap on us, it creeps on us. So true. We don’t fall all the way in one day. It’s a little bad choice here, and a little bad choice there. And before we know it, we have completely lost the advantage and we are losing. I hate losing.

There are many others, and I would encourage you to do a study yourself of all the ways satan can get an advantage on us and on our kids. Don’t you think that would be the safest? When I hear parents who are letting their kids be free, and think for themselves, and base their decisions on their feelings…it scares me. Because they don’t even realize that they are setting their kids up to lose. They don’t see it like that, but what enemy is going to tell you his plans? Duh. None, if they’re smart! You don’t see coaches texting the opposing coach during a game to let him know his play calls. That would be stupid. It’s the same in life. If we don’t let our kids know the potential dangers and tricks that the enemy is planning, we are setting them up for failure.

Ignorance is not what we want for our kids. But so, so many parents are raising ignorant children. It’s ignorant to tell your child there is no right or wrong. It’s ignorant and it’s dangerous.

Let’s be sure that we are first finding out satan’s tricks and devices for ourselves. And then let’s be sure and tell our kids what they are. Don’t be ignorant of satan’s devices!

Ain’t nobody gonna get an advantage on this momma! The Chase’s are playing to win.

I don’t have time for lazy friends

I know that title sounds harsh, but wait and hear me out before you make your final judgment.

Ok. Life is short. I have absolutely no guarantee of my next breath. I could live to be 100 or I could die tomorrow and I literally have no idea which it will be. Because of the fact that I don’t know which it will be, it becomes very important who I am surrounding myself with. What kind of friends are you surrounding yourself with? Did you know that obeying God brings major benefits and blessings? I mean, major. Did you also know that disobeying God brings major discipline and opposition? Here’s what I’m trying to say. It is really important to me that I spend time with people who understand the benefits of obedience to God. Because I want my closest friends to be doing whatever it takes to make sure that I am getting benefits. I know that sounds selfish on my part, but I want to be that kind of friend as well. I also want my closest friends to understand the harm that can come to me if I choose not to obey. If they understand that, they will do everything they can to make sure I stay away from certain things. Make sense?

So when I say that I don’t have time for lazy friends, what I really mean is this. I want to be surrounding myself with the kind of people who understand that obedience will benefit me, and giving me excuses will harm me. If I have people in my life who understand that, they are going to work hard to give me the truth. And sometimes? The truth is hard to hear. But the people who really understand the benefits will work hard and will take a risk. The people who don’t understand that, will give me excuses, will help me justify my sin and will side with me every time. I don’t have time for people like that. Ain’t nobody got time for that! What if this is my last week?? And my friends have decided to let me make bad choices that affect my family and affect my ministry just because they don’t want to give me the hard truth and potentially hurt my feelings? I can’t have that! I just can’t. Anyone can find those lazy friends. The ones who are always willing to go out for drinks and help you “forget” about your problems. But let’s be real. Those aren’t the hard working friends.

I could write story after story of times that I have had friends give me the hard truth. I know it’s hard. I didn’t always like it at first. But I knew it was what I needed. I need my friends to be willing to work hard for me. And I want to be working hard for you too. The lazy way out is to be silent. The hard way is to be lovingly and brutally honest. It’s hard. Yes it is. But it is the kind of friend I want, and the kind of friend I need. Because I want some stellar benefits, baby.

So no offense. It’s not like I still won’t love on you and still won’t hang out with you if you’re a lazy friend. But the people who I am constantly listening to? Those are the ones I have to choose really carefully. Those are the ones who have to understand the way life works.  My benefits depend on it.

Are you being a lazy friend? Do the hard thing. Your benefits depend on it.

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Threads, Kicks and Frosting ~ Tricking your mind with your outfit

The struggle is real, people. It’s March. The end of March. The calendar says it’s Spring. While some people are seeing the beautiful buds, green grass and amazing signs of Spring…we are calling it a win if we see a patch of brown, muddy grass peeking out from under the piles of snow. It’s 41 degrees right now, and I can’t help but burst out in “We’re having a heart waaaaaave“! So even though some of you are already enjoying Spring weather including the bright colored clothes and flip flops, those of us in the colder regions have to trick our minds. I decided to pull out the bright colors and make myself feel like it’s warm and even though my frozen solid little limbs are telling me otherwise.

So the neon yellow shirt was busted out, and the bright blue nail polish. I couldn’t quite bring myself to wear flip flops yet because…well. Frost bite. But my Toms were close enough to make me feel kind of like it’s Spring.

How are you tricking your mind to believing it’s Spring? Whatever it takes, right?

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Neon Shirt – J.C.Penney
Jeans – American Eagle
Shoes – Toms Bimini stitchout
Nail Polish – Rue 21

Mommy Monday ~ The reason I don’t believe everything I hear

I have a fighter kind of a personality. I am opinionated and I’m not afraid to share my point of view. I am this way in pretty much every area of my life. For this very reason, I can not ever be a part of a parenting group or forum. Don’t judge me. It’s just that I have a hard time not responding when I hear generalizations and things that go against the very core of my being. The very core of my being, of course, is that the Bible is my handbook for how I raise my kids. So when people make up their own child-raising rules and tell everyone around them that they tried the Bible-way and it didn’t work, so instead they made their own rules. Oh ok then. Let’s go with your way. That makes perfect sense. See what I mean? You can already hear my sarcasm coming out and it’s just really not gonna help anyone. Hey. At least I know my limitations. I just quietly back out of the groups that I’m invited to join.

We are constantly bombarded with things that appeal to us: 15 ways to stop yelling at your kids, or 5 secrets to raising obedient children. 5 Ways to respond when your kid says I hate you. And on and on they go. Trust me. Just type out “parenting” in pinterest and you will have everything you could ever hope or dream of.

The problem with that, is that I don’t really have a yelling problem (I mean, I have plenty of other problems, that just doesn’t happen to be one of them), The Bible is super clear and specific about how to raise obedient children and my kids have never told me they hated me. So then. Every time I read any kind of article about parenting, I feel like they are assuming that I’m clueless, that my kids are going to be bad, because all kids are, and that I have to be realistic and not think that God has anything to do with some of these issues I face. Obviously I’m not implying that no one has any words of wisdom when it comes to parenting, hence the Mommy Monday posts that I’ve been doing for a year! All I’m saying is this. It’s dangerous to believe everything I hear. And the reason I don’t believe everything I hear is because of the fact that stereo types and statistics lie. Not always. There are truths to some of them, but ultimately, there is one truth. God’s Word is truth. It never lies. So when it tells me how to live, how to train my children, what to do and what not to do? I’m gonna believe it.

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Just this week, one of my kids started showing some anger. To be honest, it would have been easier to just roll my eyes, tell him to knock it off and then continue shopping. (which is of course, always where issues arise! Am I right?! It’s always in the grocery store when you can do nothing about it! I talk here about practicing obedience!) Instead, after we got home, I got out my Bible, some legos and gave the boys a little lesson. It was light hearted and fun, but it was oh so for real. I talked about how sin is a weight. It weighs us right down, so we can’t run the race we’re supposed to run. I took two lego guys. One had nothing in his hand, and the other one decided to get annoyed on his way to the race (added something to weigh down his hand) Then he yelled at his brother (added something else to weigh down his hand) and on and on. Now it was race time. Which lego guy had the better advantage? Obviously the one who did not have anything weighing him down! I also talked about how in Hebrews it tells us that sin easily trips us up. So I put out obstacles in front of both “runners”. The one who was already weighed down with sin couldn’t even see the obstacles in front of him so he fell easily again and again. While the one without any weights could dodge the obstacles. God tells us to lay aside those sins. Throw them off. Run the race without the weights. It’s so much easier. This is the kind of training my kids need to hear. Truth.

Now most of you might have read somewhere along the way, that every kid that age is going through anger and different emotions and you need to just wait it out. No stinking way jose. I also don’t believe that any age is too old to use object lessons. The lessons I gave that day with the legos helped ME. I need to see how easy it is to hold on to sins that I don’t need to hold on to. I need to see how I am making my own race harder because I refuse to let go. I don’t read about this kind of thing when I check it out on pinterest. Because sometimes I think people look too hard. It’s all right here in God’s Word. All of it. Yes, we need to apply ourselves as parents and use the Word to teach and train our kids. But we don’t need a phd. We don’t need a visit to the psychiatrist. We need God’s Word. That gives us what we need.

So I hope that as you read an article here and read an article there that you always take into consideration where the writer is coming from. Is it written based on their experience? Is it written based on the statistics? Or is it written based on Truth? It is so important that we are following truth. Don’t believe everything you hear. Believe Truth.

How to make the worst buttermilk biscuits ever

Sometimes I’m Suzy Homemaker. I can whip up an apple pie from scratch in 15 minutes flat. I can make some pretty darn good homemade bread, and I can get a meal from the freezer to the table in a half hour. When I’m on my game, I can make June Cleaver look like a slacker!

But then there’s those other times that I start talking on the phone while I cook. Faaaahget abaaaht it! I’m talking and pouring and talking and kneading and talking and pouring.
Cooking aaand solving all the world’s problems. Simultaneously. Impressive.
Then I put these bad boys in the oven and wait for my family to come running down the stairs following the smell of homemade buttermilk biscuits, run to me and hug me, then devour the flaky rolls, singing my praises.

But this time, I thought they looked funny. Kind of similar to light brown hockey pucks. Hmm. I put all the ingredients in. I know I did. Maybe they’re fine, I’ll just try a bite. Um. Ya. Something’s wrong dude. Really wrong.I look back at my recipe, then glance at the FOUR ingredients still on the counter. Not rocket science, people! Oh. Ahem. Right. Baking POWDER. That little tiny word makes a difference? When you use three teaspoon fulls it does! Let me tell you… It was not pleasant. So. The only thing I could do was throw the entire batch out and start again.

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If you want the recipe you can find it here. And when you make it right? Two words: Yum.my. Seriously so good! If you want to know how to make the worst buttermilk biscuits ever? Switch out the baking powder with baking soda.
Now if you are trying to get out of cooking? You may wanna hold on to this tip. No one will want to eat these, and the only reasonable remedy to get that nasty taste out of your mouth would seem to be take out.
Just saying. So there you go.

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Happy Friday, peeps!

Threads, Kicks and Frosting ~ Lace

I never really would have thought of myself as someone who likes lace. I remember when I was deciding what I wanted my wedding dress to look like (don’t even get me started on my wedding dress story) lace was not. And I repeat…NOT in the picture. I just wasn’t a fan. Things have changed a little and I love me some lace. Lace shirts, lace dresses…it’s just all so good. Here’s what I’m talking about.

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Mommy Monday ~ Is it really possible to have control?

I have been having conversation after conversation lately, with moms who feel like they have no control of their kids. The kids ages vary, but typically it is kids ages 10-15. Of course there are totally different home situations, and life circumstances surrounding each family, but the feelings of complete and utter helplessness and loss of control is the same. No one likes to feel out of control, and I hope that with a few words, I can help you feel like you can get things back under control.

When I ask you the question Is it really possible to have control? The simple answer is yes. Yes it is. But the thing is, it takes work. Hard work. It is so easy to fall into the trap of not begin intentional and planning things out, especially once your kids become a little bit more independent. The basic answer to how it’s possible to have control is this: BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT EVERYTHING!

I know that seems so obvious, but I am going to give you a few examples that I hope will help you understand what you need to do and how you can keep things under control in your house.

1. Show your kids you mean business, even if you feel weak.

Here’s what I mean. There have been times when my boys have done something wrong, and they knew what the normal consequence was. I tried really hard when they were younger to be consistent, and the discipline was pretty much always the same. But then there are those days when I’m over tired, stressed, or start feeling bad. Instead of dropping the normal consequence and therefore coming across like you are being a push over, be intentional and tell your kids what you are doing. Like this: Hey, I saw that you just hit your brother. You know that normally you would get in trouble for this. I am going to show you mercy right now, just like Jesus does to me so many times and gives me good things when I don’t deserve it. I want you to apologize to your brother and work really hard to do the right thing next time. 

See how that worked? It doesn’t have to look like you are just rolling your eyes and walking away from the situation. You were still taking the time to deal with it, but didn’t have to deal with it in the long hard way that discipline can normally take!

2. Show your kids that you expect the same from yourself that you expect from them.

We can not tell our kids to act one way and then act another way. They are going to see right through that. If we expect kindness from them, we have to show kindness to others. It can seem so obvious, but it’s harder than it seems! It has to start with us! It has to start with me seeing what I look like in the light of the Bible. The Bible shine light on all the things I need to work on. If I start my day that way, it makes it easier for me to work on those things throughout the day. It becomes easier to teach my kids the same. What if I have someone cut me off when I’m driving and I don’t mouth off towards them and get frustrated, but instead talk about thinking of others as better than myself? Would that impact them? Would it make it easier to teach them to be kind when someone at school treats them poorly? I think so.

3. Show them that you don’t expect them to be perfect but you expect them to be growing.

This is the way God treats us. He doesn’t expect perfection, but he expects growth. I expect a lot from my kids. A lot. I expect a good attitude, I expect them to serve, I expect them to obey. I know that they are not going to obey all the time, but they know Adam and I expect it. I don’t drag my kids to church, they come with us to church because it’s expected. I don’t yell at my kids and tell them over and over when it’s time to go to bed. They obey the first time. And when they make a mistake? We don’t make them feel horrible about themselves, but we do want them to know that we expect better next time. I love being able to put this to practice. Recently, one of the boys had a hard time with how someone spoke to him. We talked, and I brought out how he could have reacted differently and maybe the entire conversation would have ended differently than it did. The very next day, something similar happened, and I was able to just look at him and he remembered and acted the right way. Then…what a great chance to celebrate!! He made a bad choice, then he corrected it and made a good choice the next day! Again…intentionally reminding him of how he made a good choice!

It’s all about doing things on purpose. If you want control of your kids, you have to be so thoughtful, conscious, calculated, planned out. Having well behaved, controlled kids does not just happen. It takes work, love, being able to admit when you’re wrong, and asking God to give you the wisdom you need. I love talking about this, because I’ve seen it work in my own family. When you work hard when they’re young, it pays off when they’re older. Don’t think that things are just going to go right on their own. You have to work hard. You have to be intentional. You have to plan out what you are going to do when they act poorly, and what you are going to do when they obey!

Any questions about specifics? Please feel free to message me here. I always loving encouraging tired, worn out moms. You don’t have to feel that way! It is possible to have control! You can do it! Don’t forget. You are not always going to know what to do. It’s ok! Keep your eyes on the one who does.

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Mike’s Pastry, Boston Celtics, City Loving and 55 degree weather

I never know what to get Adam for his birthday. It’s not that he’s not appreciative of whatever I get him, it’s just that he’s content with what he has. period. He doesn’t need to buy stuff for himself, and he is a very unselfish person.

So when his birthday came around this year, and I started telling him I had no idea what to get him, he suggested I get celtics tickets for all of us. Um. An excuse to go to Boston for the day? Sign me up. He picked the team he wanted see, picked the seats he wanted and I got the tickets.

We could not have known that the day he picked for us to go would literally be the warmest day we have had in 297 years. Just kidding. But when you live in New England and have a winter like the one we’ve had this year, it feels it. It.was.beautiful.

We left after lunch (Thank you so much to Ruthie and Catherine for holding things down at The Porch for us!) and had an amazing time. Even though I consider Boston my second home, we still have to do the touristy thing and go to Mike’s Pastry and I can never get enough of the beauty of the city. We walked around with no jackets on, sat by the water, shopped a little, got our clam chowder and enjoyed the game.

So thankful for such an amazing family. The celtics even decided to win for us. I’m fairly sure it was because we were there.

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Jesus doesn’t need my popcorn

I sat across the table from a girl I hadn’t talked to in 20 years. The things we talked about now were a far cry from our previous conversation so long ago. We talked about children, family life and ministry as we caught up on each other’s lives. We talked about how ministry is hard. And it can be lonely. About how we need to stay focused on what God has called us to. We talked about what happens when churches get caught up with all the things we need to “add” to Jesus. As if he needs our help convincing others what He’s all about. She said this quote which has stuck with me.

“What you win them with is what you win them to.”

I thought about what happens when people start feeling the need to talk you into coming to church. To try and convince you and twist your arm into having a relationship with Jesus. It’s all like…Come to church with me! But don’t worry…it’s not just about God and all that boring stuff, the way other churches do it. We’ll give you popcorn and games and you can watch a show. So that way you’ll really like it and feel comfortable.

Hm. I started thinking. What if people did that with me? What if my friends who said they really loved being with me started inviting their friends to come to my house too. Would it look the same? Would it be all…You should come hang out with Rachelle. But don’t worry. It’s not just boring-old-her. We’ll give you coffee, play games, give you a prize, watch a movie. It will be fun trust me. Would I want that? In my friendships I want someone to want to hang out with me just because they like me. Maybe because they like what I can give them. But I don’t want my friends to have to talk their friends into liking me by adding all the other side things.

See, here’s the thing. Jesus is God. He doesn’t need me to add anything to Him to make Him appealing. And who am I to think I could even come anywhere close to explaining all that He really is? He is all I need. Literally. When I invite someone to church, it’s because I want them to meet Jesus. I don’t care if they sit in the most comfortable chairs, if they see the smoke on the stage and the cool purple lights. I don’t care if they get popcorn and coffee when they come. No offense. But I am not winning them to a show. To an event. To a place. I am inviting them to a real relationship with a real Heavenly Father who gives me strength on Monday morning when nothing is going right. To a person who stays with me when it feels like everyone else around me has abandoned me. And to be honest, church is so not what I’m trying to win anyone to! I am trying to win them to a life that comes complete with a manual for living. I am trying to win them to a life that includes peace, hope, joy and satisfaction that lasts. Church is good and all the rest, but that’s not real life. Real life is a real relationship with a real person. It’s understanding that I can’t do life on my own and maybe I can handle things now, but how will I handle things when someone close to me dies? Or when I find out I have a disease? Or when I can’t pay the bills? Those are the real questions that need answering.

Maybe if we weren’t so busy standing around making popcorn for people we would realize that at the end of the day, Jesus doesn’t need my popcorn. He speaks for Himself. People need my Jesus. And giving Jesus to people can happen in a small living room. It can happen on the seat of an airplane. It can happen over the phone. It can happen on someone’s death bed. Let’s step away from the popcorn maker and start working together to live lives that show how incredible Jesus is. I want people to come to my church because they see what my marriage looks like and they want to know where I’m finding the secret formula for that. I want people to come to my church because they see how I overcome pain, financial struggles, and loss. And when they see that it doesn’t come from alcohol. It doesn’t come from drugs. It doesn’t come from a church or a program, that is when we are showing who Jesus really is. I am winning people to a relationship with a God that gets you through every second of every day. I am not winning them to an event that you are counting down your miserable week days and partying hours to get to.

I have nothing to gain from bringing you to my church. I’m not going to post the number of how many attendees are there, or how many kids came to a particular event. Nope. I am going to tell you this. Jesus. changes. lives. Just plain Jesus. No event. No show. No hype. Just Jesus. And before you think I’m being blasphemous by saying “just Jesus.” I don’t mean, little-old-Jesus. I mean just Jesus because once you find Him? You will wonder why you waited so long. Once you find Him? You won’t ever want life any other way. Once you find Him? You’ll understand that by saying “just Jesus”, it means Jesus is all you will ever need.
Church is great. Events are awesome. But it’s not what you need. Jesus is all you will ever need.

Mommy Monday ~ 3 ways to boost your child’s self esteem

I like lists. Obviously. Sometimes, reading a whole entire article can be overwhelming and can leave you feeling like- where do I go from here? Also, I’m a skimmer. So reading a few main points can help me remember the important points from what I just read.

I spend a lot of times with teenagers, and it is pretty obvious that self esteem is a major struggle for most of them. I mean, let’s be honest here. It can be a major struggle for all of us.  Low self esteem can start a lot younger than the teen years and can last a lot longer as well! I’ve been thinking about what I can do as a mom to help my kids have a solid self esteem. Here are three ways I think you can boost your child’s self esteem.

1. Teach them the importance of serving others. When your children start thinking of others as better than they are, their focus totally changes. When this happens, they have less time to think about things they don’t like about themselves. It will make your child feel better about himself when he is spending his time making others feel better about who they are! Low self-esteem is a form of pride, although it is hard to see it like that. Pride means that you think of yourself more than you think of others. Even when you are thinking bad things about yourself, you are still thinking of yourself. Teach that to your kids! Teach them the satisfaction that comes when they give their time, their money, their attention to other people.

2. Tell them they have value. I know this seems obvious, but the more you are around your kids, (or anyone!) the easier it can become to not be as intentional with encouraging words. They need to hear the positive things they are doing. They need to hear what their strengths are, what people are saying about them (if it’s good!) what good qualities you see in them, and how you see them succeeding in life. Speak. Speak. Speak. Speak life into your kids. Did you know that your tongue has the power of life and death? Don’t speak death into your children. Death of confidence, death of  value, death of hard work. Speak life. Encourage them when they mess up. And be really aware when they are in a similar situation and make the right choice. Go crazy over them. Be their biggest cheerleader. Have good reactions. When they show you something they just built, or drew, or wrote, be over the top excited! Use extravagant words! Tell them they are talented, gifted, amazing, incredible, mind blowing, generous, thoughtful, kind, hilarious, strong. Build these truths into them with your words. They need to hear actual words from you that show them how you feel about them.

3. Teach them where their true value comes from. Understand that our kids are being bombarded by people telling them the importance of their appearance, the number of followers they have, their grades, how many friends they have and how much money they (or their parents) make. And even if I tell them over and over again how much value they have, at the end of the day? I’m the mom! Of course I am going to tell them that! But there are going to be days when the words of their mother is not quite enough. They need to know that their value is far greater than what I can ever even express to them. Their true value comes from God. The one who created them. And not only simply a creator, but a loving God who has a purpose and plan for their lives. A God who loves them more than I ever could. Imagine how differently we would all live our lives if we really understood the magnitude of that? The Almighty God has said that your child has incredible value!!  Shouldn’t nothing else matter? Shouldn’t no one else’s opinion have any weight on their self esteem? That is certainly how it should be. If we spend some of our time telling our kids what we value about them, but most of our time telling them what God values about them, just imagine the confidence they will have! It won’t matter if some random girl from school talks about your daughter behind her back. God’s love is deeper. It won’t matter if someone unfriends your son. God’s love is better. It won’t matter if they gain weight, lose weight, break out, or anything else. God’s love is stronger. God’s love trumps everything. It is no wonder that doubting God’s love can seem so easy a trap to fall into. Because once we feel like God doesn’t love us, everything else falls apart. I always, always pray that my kids will never doubt God’s love for them. If they understand how much God loves them, it affects everything. If they think God is just a God who gives rules, they will follow the rules while they think it really matters. While they think people see, and while they think it can benefit them. When they realize that God adores them. Sings over them. Holds their tears in a bottle. They will follow the rules because they want to try as hard as they can to love Him back. Their true value doesn’t come from me. Their true value comes from God.

I know there are many other ways you can boost your child’s self esteem, but if we work on these three things, I think we are off to a pretty good start! Let’s be the kind of moms that work hard to make sure our kids have confidence.